ericwoke up early again yesterday and rode bicycle 5 miles to other end of hole. there was a light rain when i left which turned into a heavy fall on the way back. it felt like i fell into a lake's volume of water which was distributed across time. it was neither good nor bad. i stopped under the awning of a gutted walgreens for a moment to rearrange the contents of my pockets. lately being alive feels like this most of the time. avoiding secret potholes in the flooding to avoid being splashed when already fully soaked through, being momentarily, ambiently conscious about one or other half of a binary condition, with sudden swells of frustration or resignation, frustration of having to resign, enjoyment, banality, enjoyment in banality, no longer entertaining the possibility of the sublime, questioning its existence and the structural positing of it within the canon of reality